Sunday, April 8, 2007

Dear Friend

"Will you be someone who understands?
Will you understand when I
tell you that I need a
friend
Who will liesten as
I share about my
journey through
infertility?

So many others
have had only advice;
Miracle stories,
herb teas, and new
love-making positions.

Will you understand month
after month when I need to share
My disappointment from another unsuccessful attempt?

Will you understand when I tellyou that I rage and pound my fists at God
Because He doesn't seem to hear me or take away this pain?

Will you know to pray for me when I can no longer pray for myself?
Will you know to send me a card to remind me that I am not alone?

Will you understand the tears that well up when you tell me you are
pregnant?

Will you understand that I celebrate with you, yet long for the day,
When a friends pregnancy doesn't remind me of my own barrenness?

Will you understand when I start to pull away when your tummy begins
to bulge?

As much as I long to share in the excitement, I find the ache too much
As other women encircle you and the conversation turns to motherhood.

Will you understand when I dont' come to your baby shower?

I can't imagine the strength I will need to hold back the tears
In the midst of baby clothes, breastfeeding tips, and birth stories.

Will you understand when your baby is born and I don't come to visit right away?

Please know that I long to hold your child and congratulate you in person
But holding a newborn in my arms sprials me into a place of envy and pain.

Will you understand that my empty arms are still heavy with the grief they carry?
Will you understand that your greatest joy is my greatest sorrow?

When the months turn into years, and you are expecting your second child
Will you understand that I still long to bear a child in my womb?

Will you still be my friend?"

By Kim Notehelfer


*I read this in a recent issue of Stepping Stones, a Bethany Christian Services Publication that offers Christian support for couples facing infertility or pregnancy loss. For more information, go here.

1 comment:

Connie said...

"Stepping Stones" is still being published? Oh my! I practically clung to every issue (in old fashioned paper form) when it arrived in the mail back in the 80's!!

I wrote several poems during my/our struggle with infertility--found them and read them last summer. I was surprised at how deeply I was moved--sobbing actually--after all these years.