I filled out our adoption pre-application yesterday! We have decided on our agency, and we are thrilled to find that Bethany has opened an office a mere 30 minutes from our house as opposed to the 2 hours we had expected to drive.
In addition to that, we were told by our church that they wanted to collect money on a weekly basis to put into an adoption fund for us...until it is PAID OFF!!!!!!!! We were floored by this announcement! I can't begin to explain how overwhelmed we are by this gift, this $20,000 gift! I had wondered where the money was going to come from, but every time I prayed about it, I really felt that God would provide. How He has answered our prayer!! I still can't quite verbalize how blessed we feel, and in fact are. As a pastor and his wife, this means more to us than we can express.
So, what's next?
Well, we have a meeting with the social worker next week. She will give us a presentation with all of the information about the agency, and she will take our pre-application. Then, we wait for approval, which I am hoping won't take long. Then we get into the formal application which is much longer and very detailed, with essay questions! (cracks knuckles) I'm ready! Let's put this English/Creative Writing degree to work! :)
I'll update as we move through the paperwork and into our homestudy.
As far as the emotional response of switching gears to adoption from trying to conceive, it has been....fine. I mean, the stress relief has been wonderful. I haven't worried about timing, temping, counting days, worring about caffiene intake, or anything. That's not to say that we will not try to get pregnant anymore. I think we always will. But, the pressure of making the most of every month seems to have left the forefront of my mind. I'm excited about adoption, really! Once we have stepped forward, I doubt we will look back with regret. I had to come to a point where I asked myself, "Do you want to be pregnant or do you want to be a mother?" You know what my answer is. And through adoption, I can be a mom and my sweet husband can be the great father I know he will be. I am thankful that God has given us grace sufficient to handle the blow of infertility, and that He is blessing us with the grace to move forward with adoption. He is faithful!!