Thursday, October 23, 2008

Whoa.....sorry for the lack of updates.

I've just not known what to write, honestly.

We're back into this up-and-down cycle of trying to conceive. But not. What I mean is that we are back into "TTC mode," but we are not obsessing about it. And some of that not-obsessing comes from already being a mom. Like, no charting for me because I have no real set waking time but I do have lots of random waking times throughout the temperatures are not really reliable. I thought about buying some OPK's but....gosh, I just get so wrapped up in it at all when I'm that invested and I just...don't want to go...there. Once my mind goes there, I'm stuck there, you know?

If I weren't already a mom, I would probably be soooo more into this, but I feel sorta guilty for jumping hard core on the TTC bandwagon because I already have this beautiful son. I mean, I'm a mom! That was the goal, right? No, I didn't get pregnant (which was sort of the goal), but I did become a mom (which was the goal). Which is why I'm not sure what to write here anymore.

What to do, what to do.

I should mention, though, (and this is where all non-female readers should stop reading), that I had my first full cycle since my surgery (told ya to stop reading, guys). And wouldn't you just know--I had a 27 day cycle. Twenty-seven days!! As opposed to 35, 37, or even 42 days (which I think was the longest cycle I've ever had). And that's what menstrual cramps are supposed to feel like?!?! Oh, that is nothing!! I guess I realized just how much pain I was in pre-surgery. In retrospect, the endometriosis had really caused a lot of was just my "normal" so I didn't think anything of it. Wow. I'm am so glad to be rid of the Stupid Tumor.

Since I'm still struggling with what to write here, since I'm still dabbling in both worlds--the world of motherhood and the world of infertility, since I just don't know where I fit....I'll leave you with this, because he's just so darn cute. And 4 months old now if you can believe it.

More to come...


a_weak_rose said...

I'm still praying for a pregnancy miracle for you. . .

Jenileigh said...

I sort of know what you mean. Having girls already but struggling for 7 years to conceive again, why am I fighting so hard to have more when I already have a family.

I'm taking a break of TTC. I tossed all my books, charts, everything in a box and put it away. This last month just did me in.

Isaiah is so cute. I'm praying the Lord open your womb and bless you with being able to conceive and give birth still!

Hugs, and I'm glad you posted again.

Anonymous said...

I've been watching for your next post so am glad to see what's going on. I am so hoping you get PG now that the surgery is over. Baby is cute as ever!

Alex and Jill said...

I'm so happy you're back!!

Just write about that sweet baby boy if you don't want to write about IF...I love seeing pics of him. I can't believe he's 4 months!

After my surgery, I finally went to 28 day cycle, 30 at the most but still normal vs. going 2 months without a period. It really is amazing how much pain the endo can cause. Glad your cycles are easier.


Anonymous said...

whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!! he is SUPER duper cute!

wiley womb

Anonymous said...