Thursday, February 25, 2010

::incidentally, this is my 100th post::

Just for curiosity's sake, how many of you keep track of your infertility marathon?  Do you mark the anniversary of when you first (and probably naively) began trying to conceive?  Do you look back and think, "I had no idea what was coming,"? 


I do.
I was just curious if you did, too.  My 6th TTC anniversary is coming up and I've been dwelling a lot over the past 6 years.  Been reading old journals and old posts and counting my blessings.  God has been so faithful to move me past the emotional wreckage where I once lived.  I know sometimes my posts here reflect differently from that statement because I still seem like an emotional basketcase, but seriously...if you had known me that first year you wouldn't have liked me very much.  I truly believe God has used my infertility to make me someone I wouldn't have otherwise been.  It has been a refining process that has shown me how poorly I've dealt with disappointment, how desperate I am for my Savior, and how faithful our sovereign God is.
It's not over, but even as I approach year number seven, I fully expect for God to continue in His goodness.

No, I am not pregnant, but tonight I am looking back at the past faithfulness of God, and I find myself very content in that.  Praise You, Father!


-glenna-

4 comments:

Mrs.G said...

I do keep track of my IF marathon. It's hard not to sometimes. In church the other day our pastor talked about thinking of even the hardest things we're going through as a gift. Sounds crazy but He's putting us through it for a reason and that reason MIGHT be to help other people! He also asked if our circumstances made us better or made us bitter. I have struggled with that a lot the past 2 1/2 years and it hit me square between the eyes when he said that. Nothing like God speaking straight to me through the man at the pulpit!

Sew said...

We first started TTC on our wedding night. :) So that is always a bitter sweet anniversary.

I was bitter in the beginning and down right angry. I've noticed lately that I'm starting to just go with it. I have zero control. But I do know now and realize I'm in the loving hands of a faithful loving father, what should I worry? He has my future already planned.

And when I get weak and vent on blog....Don't quote me, okay! ;) hahahaha

andreajennine said...

I totally still keep track. I often think of Ps. 90:15 - "Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil." Since we started trying in Jan. 2005, that means our baby's 5th birthday in 2015 will mark the day when we've had the blessing of a child for as many years as we were afflicted with infertility. And of course, I wonder if we'll face the affliction of secondary infertility... But it's true that God does so much in our hearts through these trials.

Jessica said...

Hi Glenna,
I just found your blog through Sew's blog :)
I ttc'ed my son for 4years- I know the hardship. We then lost a baby last year at 14.5weeks... but God is good, and even in the deepest valleys His grace is there, teaching me and my husband to love deeper through each tribulation and trial.
I hope that you find great comfort knowing that you are not alone, in all this, that there are many women who know your pain <3 I look forward to reading your blog and getting to you know more!