Friday, March 26, 2010

::did i lose my credibility?::

As an infertility blogger who is now a mother through adoption, I wonder if I can still blog. 

My posts used to resonate with many women who were in that same empty place of longing.  We were tight.  We knew exactly what the other felt when pregnancies were announced, when a period showed up on the same day a baby shower invitation arrived in the mail, when baby dedications took place on Mother's Day at church (talk about a double burn!).  We were bummed when infertility blogs turned stagnant after a positive test was rejoiced, when a popular IF blogger simply disappeared after achieving pregnancy, when long-time IF bloggers moved to the world of mommy-bloggingdom.   It's totally understandable.  But I think I better understand why a lot of IF bloggers stop blogging when they become moms.  It's what I did. 

Because that is where I find myself these days--in this already-not-yet kind of tension.  Already a mom, still infertile.  BUT--a mom.  So, I wonder if I lost my blogging credibility when I signed my name on the final adoption papers that proclaimed Isaiah my son. 

Do you know what I mean?

This is in no way a post looking for comments or edification.  I'm not that desperate yet.  ;-)  But I find that I don't read IF blogs nearly as often as I used to, and I'm totally surprised when I click through my blogroll and see old pregnancy announcements and baby pictures. Do some of you wonder what to blog about when you find yourself at the end of this long rat race and have finally attained motherhood? 

So....I put it to the few of you who still follow along....what do you want to read?  What is most encouraging to you?  What is helpful as a woman experiencing IF?  Give it to me.
Even though I feel slightly out of touch, I'm still where you are to some extent: my womb is empty, but my hope is in Christ. 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I just understand that you are in a different place now. Sometimes I glance through your post and don't read... some days are just too hard, ya know? Other times, I sit and giggle at your little guy. I'm so happy for you! Remember, you don't need to blog for us. Just keep sharing your feelings and what's on your heart. Someone out there can identify. with you at that moment. Some days, it is still me. ~IssyMae :)

Kait said...

I don't have any answer for you but I can sympathize with the feelings. As an infertile woman who didn't particularly care about being infertile I didn't totally fit in to the IF blogging crowd. And while I am an adoptive mother, our journey was so completely different from other adoptive parents that we don't totally mesh with them either.

I write about life - about my kids and my infertility and my every day life as a very young mother of two adopted kids. I don't fit in to a blogging box but I'm okay with that because it's MY life and I am so very blessed to be living it.

Keep writing - write about wanting another baby and about your beautiful son and about your struggles and your joys. I enjoy everything you write.

Elaine said...

Kait said it perfectly. Keep writing. Do exactly what you just did--sharing where you are at this particular moment. Someone will be able to identify with you in that moment. I love the post you did earlier about meeting a life long friend through blogging. That's what blogging is about, or at least to me. It's about reaching out and showing compassion in a world that focuses too often on the negative stuff. Blogging re solidified my faith in people in general in this aspect. And most importantly, it's so people can continue to pray for you...and you witness to them. I'm still praying my sweet friend. I don't know why God has chosen you for this race, but I do know you are using it for His greater purpose in your life.

the williams said...

from someone who struggled slightly with infertility and is now a mommy, i still really want to know HOW to talk to infertile women. knowing that i can't understand what it's like, or i can't understand how someone feels month after month, it's always good to know how to be encouraging somehow, and your blog did that for me. even if it was to you :) love you.

Faith said...

I love that you just share your heart and are real with where you are right now. The majority of people I know that have adopted also have biological children, so I really apreciate your perspective.

Please keep bloggging!

Allison said...

i don't think you've lost your credibility at all.

i find that the position you're in enables you to write to an even wider audience now...

your outreach has expanded...

your lines have fallen for you in pleasant places; indeed, you have a beautiful inheritance... Ps. 16:6

whatever credibility people tell you that you have or don't have is simply opinion...

keep writing, sharing, ministering and witnessing!!! (i'm one to talk, right? :)

Anonymous said...

I think you should keep writing. Infertility has been a part of my life for about 4 years. No children yet. But it has changed who I am so much, I think if we do have children in our house at some point, Lord willing, I will always know how different my experience was from 90% of women out there. I think your ongoing experience is still relevant to a lot of us. As an example, amanda @ mandigirl muses has had two children for most of the time I've read her blog. But she was still going through a lot and able to write about her experiences. I find reading other's writing so encouraging. So I say keep writing!!

Jericho said...

Keep writing and sharing who you are. People don't just read what you have to say because of your situation. That might be what brought them here....but they've stayed because they fell in love with how you express yourself in words. :)