Thursday, October 28, 2010

::blog thoughts::

I find it hard to talk about my blog in real life.
And by "real life" I mean face-to-face conversations. I always end up changing the subject.  :)


That makes me wonder if I'm a little too transparent here where I can't see any of your faces.  But....your emails and comments have been so incredibly supportive and kind.  If you've stuck around even after my last post, maybe something struck a chord with you.  For that reason, I'll keep putting it all out there because--there's nothing like feeling alone in infertility. 

I also wonder what in the world to write about that hasn't already been written about in the realm of infertility.  When I first started blogging on this topic, there weren't a ton of IF bloggers out there.  That, however, is no longer true.  Google "infertility blog" and you've got enough reading material to fill several, several books. 

Aside from my personal meltdowns and revelations, I wonder--what can I add to this mix?  While I'm certainly not an expert, I do sort of feel like a veteran when it comes to infertility itself.  I realize being a mother through adoption adds a different spin on things, but when it comes down to the difficulty of daily living with infertility, I'm obviously still here living it right in front of you. 
But I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said.

My goal is to encourage believers in Christ who are suffering through infertility, although I have my days where I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world when it comes to encouragement (i.e., read my last post). 

I feel a little strange asking this question, because it assumes there are lots of you reading, however--what would be a beneficial blog topic when it comes to infertility itself, and living with infertility as a Christian?

I'd like to tackle some questions you might have, especially if you're new to the IF world.  I remember being less than a year into my IF experience and having a fellow IF friend laugh at me.  Laugh.  I was terrified that after however many months it had been at that point that something was wrong.  She laughed and said something like "I can remember when we'd only been trying for that long!"  It crushed me.  And made me feel like I wasn't allowed to talk about my fears.  It wasn't until I was two years into this thing that I discovered my first IF blogger.  And it was a revelation knowing there were people out there with the same challenges, fears, and pain.  And once I found some Christian IF bloggers, well...I got completely wrapped up in this world of camaraderie.

So, here I am after almost seven years of infertility--with the blessed interruption of our son's adoption two years ago.  Even though I am going through highs and lows myself, I want to encourage you as you walk the same rocky road.  I'm not exactly sure how to do that, but I want steadfastness in Christ to bleed through my words on your screen, even when I am struggling to believe that myself.  The most interesting thing about my years of infertility is that God has used them to absolutely revolutionize my relationship with Him.  Even when I slip into deep despair over my barrenness, He has lovingly and graciously drawn me back to a place of safety.  All of my questions, in the end, are satisfied by the wisdom of the Lord, even when--like I stated in my last post--I don't really find comfort in the moment in those answers.  Eventually, I keep coming back to Christ's atonement for my sin, and His continual intercession for me.  Those things bring my feet back to a firm standing position and my heart back to a place of praise.


How can I encourage you in your infertility?
How can I help you feel less alone? 
Do you want to share your IF story here?*

I just feel burdened for the women who might stumble across this blog when they are looking for...anything to help them feel less alone.  I don't know why infertility feels so isolating, but it does.

Please jump in on the discussion here.  There wouldn't be much of a reason for me to blog if you all weren't reading.  Thank you for that!

-glenna-

*I suddenly had a thought...if you're not a blogger (or even if you are) and you want a place to share your IF struggles/story, please share in the comment section or email me at ineedsomecoffee@hotmail.com.  Perhaps I can do a series of posts about you all. 

6 comments:

Amber said...

Even though I'm not new to IF, I'd consider myself a veteran (6 yrs), I get so much out of your blog. You are so real and honest but still you bring a biblical perspective to what you are feeling and what our focus should be. I thank you. Your honest posts help me when I question things and feel forgotten...I am not alone in my feelings, and you always seem to point me back to Christ!

Mahala said...

Glenna, I began reading your blog a while back when I was feeling all alone in the IF world. I even have close friends who are experiencing infertility, yet I still felt alone. Your blog was a true Godsend. It encouraged me to start my own blog about walking the road of infertility as a Christian. It's not always easy, and you helped me see that. Your last post was great. Anyone experiencing infertility knows that there are moments of deep despair. If you were always upbeat and cheerful on your blog you would be a liar. Thank you for being honest...you have an amazing way with words. My blog can be found at:
http://heartachetohope.blogspot.com

Thanks for inspiring me!

Alicia said...

I stumbled upon your IF blog when I googled christian infertility blogs, I am only 14months into this so it hasnt been that long really. I love reading your blog and get so much comfort from what you wright. Thank you for your honesty, even when you are doubting and questioning, it helps me to understand that I can be real with God about what I am going through as well. I pray you that God will pour out huge blessings on you for sharing your faith journey though all of this. I feel blessed that I have found your site!

tea said...

I feel like a veteran too (7 1/2 years). Your blog has been great for me. I have no one in real life that can relate and our experiences have been kind of similar to yours. It's nice to be able to come here and know that I'm not the only one who goes through the struggles and emotions that come with infertility. I haven't been able to feel comfortable blogging much about my infertility..I always end up feeling weird about it. I wish I could sometimes though. I really am blessed by your sharing. Thanks! :)

Doug and Heidi said...

well I cant say that I feel like a veteren (although somedays I do feel that way)...being on this journey for just 2.5 years but your idea to do some posts about some of our stories would be neat. It is always encouraging (in a weird way) to know that there are others out there struggling through IF with me!

Missie said...

I found your site only a couple of weeks ago after going through a really rough patch on this road of infertility. It has been 4 years and as much as I am surrounded by people who love me and am blessed with a wonderful, encouraging husband, there are times I just feel alone. I feel like there is no one who truly understands the heartche, the "why" questions, the doubting, etc. I know the Lord has not left me to walk this alone, and I know His grace is sufficient. But there are times that feelings don't/won't line up with these truths.
Your blog is an encouragement to me, not because you are hurting also, but because it has showed me that I am finally understood.
Thank you for that.