I find it hard to talk about my blog in real life.
And by "real life" I mean face-to-face conversations. I always end up changing the subject. :)
That makes me wonder if I'm a little too transparent here where I can't see any of your faces. But....your emails and comments have been so incredibly supportive and kind. If you've stuck around even after my last post, maybe something struck a chord with you. For that reason, I'll keep putting it all out there because--there's nothing like feeling alone in infertility.
I also wonder what in the world to write about that hasn't already been written about in the realm of infertility. When I first started blogging on this topic, there weren't a ton of IF bloggers out there. That, however, is no longer true. Google "infertility blog" and you've got enough reading material to fill several, several books.
Aside from my personal meltdowns and revelations, I wonder--what can I add to this mix? While I'm certainly not an expert, I do sort of feel like a veteran when it comes to infertility itself. I realize being a mother through adoption adds a different spin on things, but when it comes down to the difficulty of daily living with infertility, I'm obviously still here living it right in front of you.
But I'm not sure what to say that hasn't already been said.
My goal is to encourage believers in Christ who are suffering through infertility, although I have my days where I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world when it comes to encouragement (i.e., read my last post).
I feel a little strange asking this question, because it assumes there are lots of you reading, however--what would be a beneficial blog topic when it comes to infertility itself, and living with infertility as a Christian?
I'd like to tackle some questions you might have, especially if you're new to the IF world. I remember being less than a year into my IF experience and having a fellow IF friend laugh at me. Laugh. I was terrified that after however many months it had been at that point that something was wrong. She laughed and said something like "I can remember when we'd only been trying for that long!" It crushed me. And made me feel like I wasn't allowed to talk about my fears. It wasn't until I was two years into this thing that I discovered my first IF blogger. And it was a revelation knowing there were people out there with the same challenges, fears, and pain. And once I found some Christian IF bloggers, well...I got completely wrapped up in this world of camaraderie.
So, here I am after almost seven years of infertility--with the blessed interruption of our son's adoption two years ago. Even though I am going through highs and lows myself, I want to encourage you as you walk the same rocky road. I'm not exactly sure how to do that, but I want steadfastness in Christ to bleed through my words on your screen, even when I am struggling to believe that myself. The most interesting thing about my years of infertility is that God has used them to absolutely revolutionize my relationship with Him. Even when I slip into deep despair over my barrenness, He has lovingly and graciously drawn me back to a place of safety. All of my questions, in the end, are satisfied by the wisdom of the Lord, even when--like I stated in my last post--I don't really find comfort in the moment in those answers. Eventually, I keep coming back to Christ's atonement for my sin, and His continual intercession for me. Those things bring my feet back to a firm standing position and my heart back to a place of praise.
How can I encourage you in your infertility?
How can I help you feel less alone?
Do you want to share your IF story here?*
I just feel burdened for the women who might stumble across this blog when they are looking for...anything to help them feel less alone. I don't know why infertility feels so isolating, but it does.
Please jump in on the discussion here. There wouldn't be much of a reason for me to blog if you all weren't reading. Thank you for that!
*I suddenly had a thought...if you're not a blogger (or even if you are) and you want a place to share your IF struggles/story, please share in the comment section or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Perhaps I can do a series of posts about you all.